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How to Have a Good Year, Last Year

1/3/2019

22 Comments

 

It would seem like this post's headline is a mistake, right? I must have meant that the post will be about how to have a good year this year, in 2019. But no, I've got some magic to share about how to turn back time so that your memory of the past year is a good one. Weird, but true!

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How to Have a Good Year, Last Year


I suspect that these intro paragraphs will give it away a little bit. You'll think, "oh, that's what she means." But I encourage you to play along as the post continues, because I think I'm on to something. If you know me, you won't be surprised when I say how much I love hygge.

I truly believe that running after it, in the ways that work best for you, can truly be life-changing. Hygge is about creating warm, cozy experiences that you embrace as they happen. When they are over, they immediately become sweet memories.

Could be big memories like having all your children home for Christmas, or small ones like the exquisite joy of the cup of cocoa you had right before you left for work one morning. You can anticipate hygge moments, too, like when you imagine how it will feel to come home after work, drop your purse or briefcase, and slip on your favorite pair of slippers.

So here's my great big belief about hygge - the cozy joy is cumulative and you can find ways to create it and experience it even when you are going through really hard times. It just means you have to be on purpose about it, when it doesn't come easily. And you have to decide that those moments count.

Here's an example - if you had an awful fight with your best friend when you met her for lunch, you might think about it for the entire rest of your day. And, going to bed that night, you might just hunker down under the covers and hope the next day is a good one.

OR, you could tell yourself that that fight was awful, but be grateful for those 2 really good cups of tea you had, the wonderful movie you watched curled up next to your husband on the couch, the way he hugged you when you told him about the fight, and those precious moments when you cuddled with your daughter as you read her two sweet bedtime stories. I mean, that almost sounds like a good day, right? Except for the fight.

Gratitude for 2018


I had very difficult 2018. SO many things went wrong, not the least of which was that my mother died. I wanted at least ten more years with her - some people live to their 90s, so why couldn't she?

But the reason I am not writing to you from under the bed is that I tried very hard not to miss the good parts. Sure, there were moments when I couldn't stop crying. And at least one panic attack that woke me up in the wee hours of the morning and kept me from going back to sleep.

So, I made sure to fully acknowledge the awfulness of some of the experiences I had last year. But I hesitate to write it off completely. To say that it was a "bad" year. Hard year, yes! But it had some very good moments.

I got to see my aunts and cousins several times while Mom was sick and then for the funeral. My cousin, Cheryll, stood next to me as I said the words I had planned to say for my mom, and then she was there when I cried while singing Carol Burnett's "I'm so glad we had this time together" song. It had meaning for my mom and me, but I couldn't quite get through it. But my cousin was right there.

And so many other things will become sweet memories. Doing karaoke in front of the TV with my son. Sitting next to him while we watch our favorite shows. Re-connecting with two good friends of mine and having them over for dinner.

All the laughter. The good Hallmark Christmas movies. The sweet potato casserole that came out just right for Thanksgiving. And so many other good memories.

What about your experiences in 2018?

Yesterday, I encouraged you to think or write through each month with an eye toward what went wrong.

Today, I encourage you to mine each month for good moments. For sweetness, kindness, hugs, your favorite desserts. Whatever warmed your heart.

Take a moment to hold them close and express gratitude for them. Hug them back in return for the warmth, coziness, or sweetness they gave you last year.

And then, feel your heart begin to open to everything wonderful that this new year might bring.

See you tomorrow!

Love, Jeanine

22 Comments
Trish link
1/3/2019 02:00:17 am

I'm so sorry about your mom. We lost my father-in-law in 2018, and it was really rough for a while. Now we're focusing on all the good times we had with him, and I like to think how lucky my kids were that he was their grandpa. I'm also grateful that he and my mother-in-law raised my husband to be the wonderful husband and father he is today.

I've read so much about hygge that I think I need to really look into it, and start practicing it.

Take care <3

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 09:31:07 am

Thanks! I'm sorry for your loss, too. And I agree, I am very thankful that my son had my mother as a grandma. They were very close!! Yes, do try hygge - you'll never regret it.

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Roy A Ackerman, PhD, EA link
1/3/2019 10:28:26 am

Nothing that a good paradigm shift can't fix!

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 08:25:59 pm

Exactly! :)

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Jen link
1/3/2019 12:59:47 pm

I love this idea. Last year was difficult for me, too. It's too easy to look at it and say it was a bad year. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 08:27:28 pm

Thank you! Yes, it's so easy to add everything up to "bad." I think it's worth it to fight to see the good in the hard years.

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Lori Ferguson link
1/3/2019 03:44:35 pm

Holding close the good moments and giving thanks - yes! That's a valuable direction. Thank you for sharing with such a real view - it makes your suggestions have even greater impact.

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 08:28:57 pm

You're welcome! Yes, I want to hold every good moment close.

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Janet Yarwood link
1/3/2019 04:37:10 pm

I absolutely love this way of looking at things. It's amazing that you've come through such a difficult year so positive. I don't know much about hygge but everything I've seen I like. I need to look into it more

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 08:30:26 pm

Oh, thank you, Janet!! Well, it kind of felt like fighting back. Taking back my year or something like that. :)

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Snehal link
1/3/2019 07:57:51 pm

The post has such warmth. You really had a tough year last year but you have dealt with it gracefully. So much to learn from you Jeanine! Lovely post.

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 08:31:27 pm

Wow, thank you so much, Snehal!! I really appreciate that.

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Jen link
1/3/2019 08:36:54 pm

I love love love this idea! Hard years have been the story of my life the last few years but I have always managed to see the silver lining and come out happier at the end of them. It helps to see the bigger picture and to know that no matter what, God has a plan for us all. Thank you for sharing!

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 09:09:14 pm

I do think the universe was in there with some kind of personal development plan, LOL! And it does help when you go looking for the positive, so much.

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Cheryll Douglas
1/3/2019 08:47:46 pm

That was a hard time for me as well. I had to speak. Did I mention that I have public speaking. We talked briefly about how the service would go and of course nothing went according to plan. It was Good planned. It set us up for many long conversations later. Sometimes we have to hurt, before new doors open, new love starts, and friendships bloom. Love you bunches and proud of you.

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 09:08:03 pm

Love you, too, Cheryll!! You know, I knew it had to be hard for you guys and it meant so much to me that you guys came anyway. It was hard for me to be up there, too, but you were my strength right then when I needed it!

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Martha link
1/3/2019 09:05:25 pm

It seems when sadness strikes we can sometimes find happiness within. I'm glad you were able to see you aunts and cousins and keep memories alive with your mom in your heart. Last year for me, had ups and downs but the birth of Lia made up for all the sadness. Then on Christmas night, hubby and I received the best gift, a message from our 15 year old granddaughter who we haven't had contact from in 3 years. (That's a story in itself but we were in tears for sure, happy tears)
Staying positive is the best! Hugs!!

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Jeanine Byers link
1/3/2019 09:11:52 pm

(((((Bighugs))))), Martha!! I am so glad for that Christmas present you got - that is so wonderful! You are one of the people I admire for your positivity. <3

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Alice Gerard link
1/4/2019 01:42:50 am

it's so painful to lose a parent. Thank you for sharing your feelings about the loss of your precious mom. I'm sending you hugs.

I really like your approach to the good moments of last year. I was fortunate enough to have taken nearly 10,000 pictures during the course of the year so I had many of those good moments happily documented. There are the smiles, the costumes, the butterflies, the people doing what they love doing... and so much more! So many images of the past year. Who knows what the next year will bring. I hope that it is good.

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Jeanine Byers link
1/4/2019 06:56:49 pm

Thank you, Alice!! ((((hugs)))) You know, that's so good. I used to scrapbook practically every moment of our lives, and my son's ebullience was so neat to see long after the moment. But then, we went through a hard patch, and I have never really gotten back to it. Plus my son groans when I ask to take pictures now. But I know what you mean. And 10,000! I'm still shocked.

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Vidya Tiru link
1/4/2019 01:59:08 am

Jeanine, while 2018 was sad for me too with dad's passing, I truly treasured all the time we were able to spend with him and so glad that my kids had such wonderful grandfathers and still lucky to have such loving grandmothers..

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Jeanine Byers link
1/4/2019 06:57:56 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss!! And I so agree, because I am grateful for every year my son had with my mom. They were so close.

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    Hi, I'm
    Jeanine

    Contemplative, mystic spirit, spiritual coach, master Reiki practitioner, and a spoonie living with ME/CFS who writes about spiritual awakening, spiritual self-care, self-love and the enlightenment path.
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