On subjects of which we know nothing, or should I say Beings … we both believe, and disbelieve a hundred times an Hour, which keeps Believing nimble. – Emily Dickinson
I am both a follower of Jesus and a doubting Thomas of epic proportions!
More than once, I have taken a sort of sabbatical from my faith. The last one I had was definitely the longest. It lasted for years and I couldn't imagine ever being a Christian again.
What would I do about all of those doubts? The things I said I no longer believed?
And there's probably a much better way to describe how I found my back to my faith. But the best I can come up with is that God decided my wandering time was up and brought me back.
I just happened to be reading something about how much God loves us, and I had a memory moment about what that feels like. And then, I had a thought about missing God.
Immediately, it was like a light was turned on and suddenly, I was back. God was there, and the sabbatical was over.
Were my questions all answered? Not in the least. But I felt God's presence and His love, and the rest didn't matter. It felt like coming home.
In addition to my slow living and other lifestyle posts this year, I'll be writing about faith. And doubt.
Maybe those posts will help me & others nurture & deepen our faith & a closer relationship with God.
Maybe the faith posts will offer encouragement to someone else struggling with doubt.
As a certified spiritual director, I sometimes wonder if helping other doubting Thomas types is part of my calling. Or those who struggle with their faith for any reason.
In my Christian life, I have so often felt alone with my struggles. And I mistakenly believed that other people wouldn't understand.
If you can relate to that, know that I do. You'll be in good company here at this blog.
Living the Christian life is about a promise to believe even when you don't. - Lauren Winner