On subjects of which we know nothing, or should I say Beings … we both believe, and disbelieve a hundred times an Hour, which keeps Believing nimble. – Emily Dickinson
I am both a follower of Jesus and a doubting Thomas of epic proportions!
More than once, I have taken a sort of sabbatical from my faith. The last one I had was definitely the longest. It lasted for years and I couldn't imagine ever being a Christian again.
What would I do about all of those doubts? The things I said I no longer believed?
And there's probably a much better way to describe how I found my back to my faith. But the best I can come up with is that God decided my wandering time was up and brought me back.
I just happened to be reading something about how much God loves us, and I had a memory moment about what that feels like. And then, I had a thought about missing God.
Immediately, it was like a light was turned on and suddenly, I was back. God was there, and the sabbatical was over.
Were my questions all answered? Not in the least. But I felt God's presence and His love, and the rest didn't matter. It felt like coming home.
I've picked out some books to read, for a reading challenge I'm doing this year, that I hope will help me & others nurture & deepen our faith & a closer relationship with God. I'll be sharing about it on my blog.
Maybe faith posts on this blog will offer encouragement to someone else struggling with doubt.
As a certified spiritual director, I sometimes wonder if helping other doubting Thomas types is part of my calling. Or those who struggle with their faith for any reason.
In my Christian life, I have so often felt alone with my struggles. And I mistakenly believed that other people wouldn't understand.
If you can relate to that, know that I do. You'll be in good company here at this blog.
Living the Christian life is about a promise to believe even when you don't. - Lauren Winner