What to Do When Affirmations Don't Work

 
The problem with affirmations is that sometimes they don't work. For me, it has always been because I didn't believe them. I'd say something, and immediately experience cognitive dissonance.

Today, let's take a look at how to resolve that, so we can use affirmations in all the ways that do work...

Figure Out How it's True

One way that affirmations can go wrong is having a sense of disconnect as you say or write them. You think, "well, that's not true!" and no amount of repeating them connects with you in any way after that moment.

Because of that kind of experience, when I was in my 20s, I decided that they don't work. But I gave up too soon. The trick is to find the truth in them. And then, practice telling yourself the truth.

When you have a bill you can't pay, saying "I am wealthy" will create cognitive dissonance. If you want to practice being wealthy, this is not the way to do it. Because lying to yourself will never work. Tomorrow, I'll give you some ideas about how to work with something that's not true yet.

But meanwhile, if wealth is the issue, I would choose an affirmation that is true. "One way or another, the bills get paid," and "I have paid my bills at every income level," then "being wealthy would make paying bills even more fun." After that, you have set yourself up to dream about the future, which I will say more about tomorrow.

Find a way to make it true. If you want to be better at taking care of your house, but right now, there is clutter everywhere, don't start with "I keep my house perfectly clean and tidy," even if that's where you want to go.

"I love my home. I want it to be cozy. With the freedom I feel when everything is put away, and I can walk through my beautiful home without wincing. I can't wait to experience that again. I love my home and I want to take care of it." I would break those up into chunks, or write it as a paragraph in your journal.

An Affirmation that Worked

Let me give you an example of how that worked for me. There's a woman I know who liked to inspire her people to declutter and clean, so that they can make room for the best versions of themselves and their lives.

But since I have chronic fatigue syndrome, I run out of fuel long before I have cleaned the house from top to bottom. I have moments of tidying up, but sometimes a day or two goes by before I get to it. And I can never dedicate a whole day to cleaning and tidying, because they next day, I would pay for that in painful, not-get-out-of-bed kinds of ways.

So I often felt regret when I read this woman's posts, because I couldn't do what she talked about doing. But in a conversation on her page, someone else mentioned that her motivation was to make things look cozy and lived in. I responded to her about how important that is to me, too, and that I could work with the idea of isolating the cozy.

Immediately, I got up and tidied up a bit in my room and then, in our family room. The next day, I cleared off two counters so that the area where my son and sit to watch TV would be the easy focus of that room & not the clutter.

Now I ask myself if it's cozy, and what needs to be cleaned or moved so that it will be. If I can do it, I do it right then. If not, it is on my list for the next time I can. And I've appointed my son chief scrubber for the harder tasks (he is the bottle washer already), so it is now easier to feel good about the way my house looks.

Based on my standards.

My affirmations were about how good cozy feels. And what is important in the room. What feels good to walk in and see, etc.

How could you use affirmations in moments like that, for things you have to do over and over again that you'd rather not do.

What dreams could affirmations support?

See you tomorrow!

Love, Jeanine